Friday, May 29, 2009

Lip Service #9

I've been talking to a few friends about which of my friendships are the strongest and why. It occurs to me that my relationships are strongest when my friends confront me. I seem to have this notion in my head that the only books I find good and the only people I find interesting are those that without pause call me out with as much disregard for my feelings as possible. I like to hide from myself, I self destruct so I don't have to face the truth... So what I need in my life are people and materials that refuse to let me hide. I think I'm privileged to have friends like this and I guess it takes some serious measures of maturity to not hate these people and push them out of my life. The only way we can truly grow is to open ourselves up to seeing ourselves rather than the facets of ourselves that we'd like to see. So my lip service for the week comes from my own life lessons on soul searching and self analysis:

Lip Service #9: We must allow others to show us the things we can't see in ourselves. Self discovery comes when we acknowledge ourselves fully and lay down our facade.

Now I'm off to enjoy my weekend I hope you all do the same.

That's all she wrote for now...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The New York Woman in Me

Since I finished 4 Blondes, another Candace Bushnell book I've been left to reflect on the type of woman I am and the type of woman I'll become. Though this book is very low on my list of books I'd suggest anyone read I find that Bushnell's knack for telling it like it is, and saying the things we're not supposed to say has forced me yet again to confront myself. When I read Lipstick Jungle I'd decided that between the ages of 30 and 40 I wanted to be the kind of woman that was at the top of her career, just like Nico, Wendy, and Victory and that I'd do anything to get there. Now I've found the trick, after reading through another tale about New York women I'm confronted with the aftermath. It would seem that although I've spent the better part of the last couple years denying want of marriage and family that I am just as Bushnell writes her characters and quite possibly an all true New York woman (whether or not I was born there). When I've reached the top of my career I'm going to have spent too many nights in my empty apartment and I'm going to want that dream life that I've tried so hard to avoid wanting. I'm going to want to get married and have adorable childen, even if its not what I say I want right now. In their youth New York women love their independence, the belief that their career is what matters and the notion that they don't need anyone else, I can say that that's me now. But in a couple of decades, the other woman, the woman that I don't recognize, the one that wants a family life: husband and child(ren)- I may become her.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Assless Apparel -- WTF?!?!?!

Okay I'm not going to say anything else. I'm just going to post the pic of American Apparel's latest atrocity... but really assless tights?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lip Service #8

I'm one of those people that hates talking about their feelings, all the vulnerability and openness is like a big flaging red danger sign that I've gotten into the habit of taking a detour away from. So where has my detour landed me, I suppose some would call me terminally single, maybe it's because of my irrefutable denial of having actual feelings or the fact that I'm as picky when it comes to men as a serious art collector would be about picking out the next piece to add to their collection. Truth be told I'm terrified of the idea that I could possibly like someone that they could potentially change my entire outlook on life. Recently somethings hit me, being single for too long is just as bad as being in a relationship for too long. Change is good, and even if that change requires somewhat unsettling risks that require that we open ourselves up to the possibility of failure (an option I've also never really welcomed), risks must be taken for personal growth and for us to be able to thrive instead of continuing to survive as we have been. So my lip service for the week puts these risks into contexts and offers some actual advice that I'm actually trying to take.

Lip Service #8: Forget the risk, take the fall if its what you want its worth it all.

Monday, May 11, 2009

It's a Woman's World: Jennifer Hudson's Proposal

Okay so she was already engaged, he proposed to her a year ago for her birthday but nevertheless the girl popped the question to her already fiance with a five carat diamond and platinum engagement ring by Neil Lane to match her equally exquisite five carat round centre stone platinum ring, also by Neil Lane. It's one of those things that has always haunted me, the history that accompanies the engagement ring always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. But today I think I may have found a cure, I've always pondered: so if I get engaged is that engagement ring an archaic remnant of past traditions that symbolize matrimonial slavery (I sound extreme but it has historical truth)! Well Jennifer Hudson just solved my problem; it goes both ways. I've never been willing to give up my autonomy, so if I wear an engagement ring (note to my future hubby) expect to wear one too! That is a compromise I'll live with.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Lip Service #7

This week I started a new journey of some sorts, upon walking through the doors on the first day of my internship I was greeted by a canvas on the wall, scrawled across which is my sweet and simple but nevertheless powerful lip service for the week.

Lip Service #7: Some people pursue happiness; Others create it.

It makes so much sense not to search for something when the answer is within, we have the power to create our own brands of happiness. It was as if something had clicked, when I think of it now I think it should be common sense, and right there is where I prove to myself that for all its worth it can never be. Regardless of what the constitution says its not the divine right to pursue happiness but the right to create it that's worth its weight in gold. I'll continue to take my cues from the characters of Lipstick Jungle even if the tv show doesn't return.

Leighton's Lyrics

You should all know by now how much I love me some Blair Waldorf and how much that adoration has translated to actress Leighton Meester. As her her music singles get leaked online I scour for blogs and websites trying to get my hands on them the second they hit the airwaves. I love every single, perfectly aware of and content with the fact that I'm completely biased. Her latest single "Good Girls Go Bad" with Cobra Starship is pretty addictive at this point, what do you all think of Leighton's newest single? I'm particularly loving the line "I know your type, boy your dangerous, yeah you're that guy I'd be stupid to trust but just one night couldn't be so wrong - you make me wanna lose control!" Take a listen to the playlist below.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Lip service #6

I opened this book thinking I'd start the summer off with a bit of meaningless, frivolous reading, and instead I was confronted with a future image of myself that is lets just say, not what I want. Reading for identification I suppose is my weakness, I constantly see facets of myself in the books that I read that entrance me and keep me wholly consumed in the lives of the characters in the books. I cringe when they cringe, I feel what they feel, and it's become somewhat unavoidable. Today I read something that hit home so hard it was startling, so my lip service of the day is:

Lip Service #6: I'm blessed and cursed with "a heart that invites people without permission, holds them in a special place she never had any say in and then yearns for them to remain there longer than they plan" - (Cecilia Ahern, If You Could See me Now)

It's why I tend to gravitate to the idea of never letting my heart see the light of day. But it's also something that has brought so much joy and happiness into my life, maybe the things I can't control are the best things a control freak like me can ever hope for, and maybe just maybe I should find solace in not having a stranglehold on that as I do on everything else.